I can't pretend.

Im done pretending i dont love you. Im done wishing you'd sweep me off my feet. I'm done hoping some how someway she'll screw up and i won't have to pretend anymore like i hate you. I dont wanna hide i no more. Your what i want. Your what i think about. Your what i need. I hear our song playin on the radio. I can laugh i can smile i can be happy but i cant laugh like i could when i was with you. im not as happy as i was when i was with you. i can smile but... its not as good as it once was.
SO im done pretending im done wishing im done hiding it from you.... im gunna tell you that.........








I LOVE YOU!!

Papa Smurf

I will never forget the way he looked at me. 
He left that face in my head... sorta as if god had planned it there for me to remember.
It seemed perfectly perfect for so long.
Grandpa you were my hero.

I wanted you to be ok.
I wanted you to pull out of it.
I wanted you to wake up and for once just be OK.
I needed you to be ok.....So, i could be.
I never to you how much you meant to me or that i loved you.
I wake up every morning wondering if your place up there is plated in gold.


Im not ok
And your better now
My heart screams out with rage
Im not ready to let go and now your time is up
I didnt believe anything that they all said about it being your time.

Lord know that Justin Moore hit the nail on the head with the song Grandpa.
I cry threw my whole paper for my english class
You were my kinda superhero
Superman, batman, ironman and spiderman never lived up to the name "superhero"
Daddy always says he'd die to be half the man you were, little does he know in my eyes he is.
Seeing you work on that farm made you seem like the strongest man in the world
You walked the walk, talked the talk, Grandpa

                       I love you baby:)) Next month with be 6 months:)) Heres to us:)

 

Am i worth it anymore??

I'm tired of everything you've done to me. i wanna give up and pull the covers over my head. when I'm sad or upset i listen to our song and it cheers me up and i can smile but tonight it doesn't work. the tears steam down my face. Nemo trys to care for me but i just can't let it go. your suppose to be the one making sure I'm ok. I've always cared about you and let you lay your head on my shoulder when your upset. When you miss me i call you and tell you i love you a million times just so you remember. Never have i doubted your love but for once in my life my hope is fading, my faith is melting, and my heart is breaking over you. Tonight when i go to bed it wont matter to me if i wake up late or if i even care to get out of bed. Tomorrow i wont mind if you don't kiss me, hug me, hold me, or tell me you love me. If your finally done doing whatever it is that your trying to do i wouldn't mind you back. i didn't get out of my last relationship so i could jump back in to one that is the same!!! I may be only a teenager and think i know what love is but i believe that you can know what love is at any age. don't fight with me cause your argument is invalid. So am i worth it to you? was it all a game? am all you say i am? One day i hope you understand that i wouldn't give you up for the world!All ive done is love you!!!!!!!!!!!  so tell me Am I Worth It Anymore??

I miss you baby:'(

I miss you soo much i see you at school but its not enough. I try talking to you on the phone and feel better and it makes me feel better but you always seem to stay upset no matter what i do. i try soo hard to make you feel better but i feel like a total failure and like nothing i do is good enough. You make me feel like im not good enough to make you feel better i honestly understand you miss me and that you just wanna be with me but you start to treat me like shit when you get upset. I just what you to be happy baby:) I miss you and i just wanna see that smile on your face again. Bright and happy. Sweet and calm. Meaningful and cherishing. Adorable and cute. Breathe taking and Amazing:) i love you so much and i hope if you ever get the chance you'll understand that i just want you to be happy even when i cant make you.

I'll love you forever and always:)

The truth just might be this!

It's not that i meant everything i said. I don't hate you either but everything i said it ..... MEANT NOTHING.... So... its hard to explain to you that caring about you is hard for me. I show it in ways that many would consider not to be the way of showing someone that you still care bout them or miss them. i guess you could call it being a bitch the way i show it. Daddy never really liked you. But that didnt matter to me i loved you.. and i still think i do.... well the old you cause i dont know the real you. Some people would say that you changed... ok a lot of people say you changed but in my opinion you didnt change at all because your just living your life they way you want it.  And its not they way other people what it to be. Your happy and im starting to believe that maybe just im making things worse for myself by talking to you. I dont know what to do anymore i thought i loved you but maybe i was just wrong.